Wake up : Day One

The year is 2022. Half the month have gone by for this year. But wait, I “disappeared” for a whole year!

Something interesting began after my last blog in 2020 with a brain “Thunderclap” encounter. It was a morning to remember. I was deep in my sleep that day. It was a weekend. And suddenly, the sound of a huge “Hiroshima bomb” landed in my bedroom right infront of me! It sounded like a Thunder cracked right into my bedroom. There was also a white flash of lightning at the same time. I shot up from my sleep staring into my room. My first thought was “This is it. Life has ended!!” and my next expectation was my bedroom crumbling apart and I was would experience a slo-mo of myself falling into some abyss of darkness. I held onto my “exploding” brain and whispered, “Lord… help…”

A few seconds passed. I was still sitting upright in my bed. My bedroom didn’t ‘twirl’. The sun was peeking through my bedroom windows. It was calm. I couldn’t believe what I have experienced a moment ago. I am not a person who have nightmares nor have experienced any shock during my sleep. I laid back down onto my bed. My head felt heavy. Dizzy. I don’t know what “hit” me.

Half an hour later, I decided to wake up and check the rest of the house. As I walked down the staircase, I heard my inner voice that says “go for a medical check up”. I didn’t. I didn’t know if I could drive myself there. I was feeling so flustered. After I sat down for my coffee, I felt everything was okay. I didn’t go for the medical check up until 3 days later.

My Neurologist’s office staff stared at me, bewildered, scanning me physically up and down after hearing why I am asking for a check up. My Neuro-Surgeon finally offered some clarification. He said what I described to him sounded like I had a major stroke and yet, here I am sitting in his office without a hint of disability effects. We proceeded to take some MRI scans. The scans showed no signs of disturbance or aging and the Neurologist in charge said “as a matter of fact, your brain is looking way younger than your age”. My scans were both checked by My Neuro-Surgeon and another Neurologist. I asked what he meant. He said that at my age, (53) the brain would show signs of shrinkage and grey matter (in his expertise opinion) but he was astonished with my scans and he said it “literally look like brand new!”.

“Remember not the former things,
    nor consider the things of old.
Behold, I am doing a new thing;
    now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?
I will make a way in the wilderness
    and rivers in the desert.”
Isaiah 43 : 18,19

I had a hard time, despite rejoicing in this new information. Occassionally, I would hear and experience sounds of zapping in my brain, like electrocutes happening. On top of this, I had just signed up for a 6 month Coaching certification course. I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to go through with it. I felt like an “empty box” and words, again, was slipping away from me. Focus, was hard. I abandoned all writing except for the assignments I would need to be handing in for the coursework. I struggled forming words and making sense out of things. I seemed… to have fallen into another dimension.

After months I laid in bed with my daily struggles and not being able to remember things, I pondered on those words in Isaiah 43: 18,19. Maybe, I thought, just maybe… I am not suppose to remember 🤔 What if, just what if, I let myself learn new things and new ways? So I asked myself, “when was the best age of my life?” My answer was eighteen. Then I said, “If I was 18 all over again, what would I do or learn?”. And wow, a whole new world opened up before me. I let myself go at it…

It’s been a year plus since. I listened to an array of music genres I never did before and never knew I’d fall in love with Rap music. I’ve watched tons of dramas and was able to feel the innocence of young love. I’ve also watched lots of Youtube that made food interesting, cleaning the house therapeutic and see the world beyond it’s existence. It’s like I am filling in new data into my brain. Having the Coaching course alongside has helped to keep my mind steady and it has even given me the opportunity to explore and express the new Me. The assignments I handed in, began to radiate the new dimension of Me and even I, found this new place I am in, fascinating.

I am currently facing more typing mistakes, (brain not remembering spellings and key placements) and have to look up dictionary meanings to be sure all the time, but I am enjoying this moment, this child-like being, like everything is new, and I am learning as I go along.

I had shut down this blog after the last blog on my birthday 2020 in 2021 thinking, I might never be same, never recover, never wanted anyone to know any more about my life. Like a closure. Lo and behold, the Master Coach who was teaching my Coaching certification mentioned about this blog and that he had been reading/following it. I was, shocked. I didn’t know, nor expect, a learned guy like him would care to read a blog like mine. I didn’t and could not even respond to him when he said that in our class.

What was I even thinking? My mind has become so abstract at this point.

Over the last few months, whilst waiting for graduation, I have been thinking about how to consolidate everything. My life now is liken to “Crossing of the Jordan”. Graduation finally came and went at the end of December 2021. What would my new era be? What would personify me?

During this period of absence from this blog, I’ve experienced many breakthroughs. Hopefully, I’d be able to recount them one by one at some point. This morning I woke up and I thought to myself; one thing at a time, one step each day and the rest belongs to the Lord who directs our paths.

Proverbs 16:9: “We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps.” (NLT)

The first thoughts that came to my mind was to continue on this blog. I think I like what the title says, Wake up : Day One. And so, it shall be. Today is the first day of the journey ahead.

Love Again, Mamajenn@CoachJenniferKChong

Out of the 2021 new era, Business website: Chamber5.com was launched.